Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
