Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
