you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize