the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
