Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
