i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Terrible idea I love it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
