Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
