I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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