You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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