All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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