My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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