I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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