Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
