First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know her cup size but not her name....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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