I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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