The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
