I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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