but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
