You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize