if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
