And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
