I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
