i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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