Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
