she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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