So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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