This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
