we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize