That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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