hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
