is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
