You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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