She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well