hell yes lets make some ravioli
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it was like eating out sand paper
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
