I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
