In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
