i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
