I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize