OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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