Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
