turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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