I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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