I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
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you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
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i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral