Only a mothe r could love this liver
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.