There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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