Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
