Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
