Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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