Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
