please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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