Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
