Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
