..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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