she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the gays at disneyland are vicious
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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