I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
did you just send me my own nude
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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