She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
