i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
