Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
