Yo dont text me then not text me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
