If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
