plz talk dirty to me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize