mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
