yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have demons in me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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