i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
