I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.