About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
pray to the hookup gods
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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