Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize