i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
